ICH VERMISSE DICH

"DEAR GOD, THE ONLY THING I ASK OF YOU IS TO HOLD HIM.."

Hello.....long time no blogging. Freakin' miss me? I guess not..
Talk about "miss", right now I really miss someone I love.
But I can't do exactly what I want 'cause he's already gone.
It's been 6-7 months that we were having a relationship, yeah you guys will think that "it's not a long time" but it's very long time with me.
We love each other obviously but.............we are "different"
If you know what I mean, yeah you will know what I mean :p
Oh God, when I was typing this post I can't stop thinking about him not only now but EVERYDAY!
Me and him didn't want to be separated.
I really want to spend the rest of my life with him..
I really want to grow old with him..
I really want to be your everything forever..

I never regret to loving you, never.

But that's so many question in my head to you, God..
Why you create us "different" if you just want to be worshiped in one way?
Why you give us "Hello" if there's should be "Goodbye"?
Why you don't let us to be together?
WHY?????

I ASK YOUR WISDOM, GOD :'(
I DON'T MEAN TO JUDGE YOU, I JUST CONFUSE WITH YOUR PLAN.
HONESTLY, FROM DEEP DOWN OF MY HEART, I DON'T WANT TO BE LIKE THIS.
MAAF YAALLAH YATUHANKU :'(

Walaupun ga nyambung, but the point of this post is..
"ABANG BOS JELEK BUNCIT, AKU KANGEN BANGET SAMA KAMU :''''''''''(!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

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Taylor Daniel Lautner

Born on February 11th, 1992 in Grand Rapids, Michigan, Taylor Daniel Lautner has shown he was destined for a successful life from a very young age. He began studying karate at the age of six, training at Fabiano's Karate School, and by the following year, he was already winning tournaments. He was soon invited to train with seven-time world karate champion Mike Chat and, when he was eight, he was asked to represent his country in the twelve years and under division in the World Karate Association where he proved himself by becoming the Junior World Forms and Weapons champion, winning three gold medals. He continued to flourish in the martial arts circuit; in 2003, at only eleven years old, he was ranks number one in the world for NASKA's Black Belt Open Forms, Musical Weapons, Traditional Weapons and Traditional Forms and and, by the age of twelve, he had three Junior World Championships under his "black belt"

Asher Book - Try

If i walk, would you run?
If i stop, would you come?
If i say you're the one, would you believe me?
If i ask you to stay, would you show me the way?
Tell me what to say so you don't leave me.
The world is catching up to you
While you're running away to chase your dream
It's time for us to make a move cause we are asking one another to change
And maybe i'm not ready

Chorus
But I'll try for your love
I can hide up above
I will try for your love
We've been hiding enough

If i sing you a song, would you sing along?
Or wait till i'm gone, oh how we push and pull
If i give you my heart would you just play the part
Or tell me it's the start of something beautiful.
Am i catching up to you?
While your running away to chase your dreams
It's time for us to face the truth cause we are coming to each other to change
And maybe i'm not ready

Chorus
But I'll try for your love
I can hide up above
I will try for your love
We've been hiding enough

I will try for your love
I can hide up above

2x huh huhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh huh huhhh

If i walk would you run
If i stop would you come
If i say you're the one would you believe me

Leona Lewis - Happy

Someone once told me that you have to choose
What you win or lose
You can’t have everything

Don’t you take chances
You might feel the pain
Don’t you love in vain
’cause love won’t set you free

I can’t stand by the side
And watch this life pass me by
So unhappy
But safe as could be

So what if it hurts me?
So what it I break down?
So what if this world just throws me off the edge,
My feet run out of ground
I gotta find my place
I wanna hear my sound
Don’t care about all the pain in front of me
I just trying to be happy
I just wanna be happy, yeah

Holding on tightly
Just can’t let go
Just trying to play my role
Slowly disappear

But all these days
They feel like they’re they’re same
Just different faces
Different place
Get me out of here

I can’t stand by the side
Ooh, no
And watch this life pass me by
Pass me by

So what if it hurts me?
So what if I break down?
So what if this world just throws me off the edge?
My feet run out of ground
I gotta find my place
I wanna hear my sound
Don’t care about all the pain in front of me
I’m just trying to be happy

Oh, happy
Oh

So when it turns that I can see???
This rope??
Victim??
Don’t say anything

So what if it hurts me?
So what if I break down?
So what if this world just throws me off the edge?
My feet run out of ground
I gotta find my place
I wanna hear my sound
Don’t care about all the pain in front of me
I just wanna be happy
Happy
I just wanna be
Oh
I just wanna be
Happy.

	leona lewis - happy.mp3
	Found at bee mp3 search engine

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15 october 2009

i don't know why , in that day i felt so afraid about my self.
in 14 october 2009 i have one bad feel about me , i'll pass away in my birthday 15 0ctober 2009.
i told it to my bestfriend ipul , i told him all.
i cried in that situation , i can't stop my emotion.
i felt so depressed , and very scared.
luckily i have many friends that can support me.
they said "tenang aja kok fi , besok lo masih bisa ketawa-tawa sm kita" , "besok kan lo ulang tahun pasti kita bakal seneng-seneng deh" , "tenang aja fia , suggest lo ga bener" and more more more.
in that way , i promised to Allah.
"yaAllah aku janji bakal rajin sholat , ngaji , ga ngelawan mama papa , selalu istighfar sm engkau. tolong beri aku kesempatan untuk perbaiki semua kesalahanku. masih banyak yg masih harus aku selesaikan. masa depanku masih ada yaAllah." , i really promised.
i knew Allah is fair , i knew Allah loves me and all creature in the world , i knew Allah listen to my promised.
and in my birthday i still can breath the air , laughed with my friends , got the birthday greet from my friends , got the cake from my family , and i still can pray and hope to Allah.

in my 16th birthday honestly i didn't want any great present or suprised (sebenernya mau hehe) i just want life and chance to fix my broken life , i want to make my family , friends , Allah and my country proud of me , i want to be Sholeha women , and i want to be an ordinary human but inside of me i have extraordinary personality.
amin amin yaAllah!
alhamdullilah and thaks for all :D